Norway ... Almost perfect

I've found a place that I really feel that I could fit in well with, and I've only been here a day.

Sure I don't speak any of the lingo, but there are enough people that speak English here not to make it a problem.

The women are great to look at, the men aren't ugly ( which helps when you try to make friends by the way ), the streets are clean and very wide, there are plenty of rock and metal joints, goatee beards are quite the norm for the usual folk and I have easily found most of the places I would need to live somewhere already.

The cinema is in a good location, so is the billiard house, the rock clubs, English restaurants and bars ( well Irish which is a better choice if you ask me ) and the public transport system looks easy enough to get to grips with so far.

In fact, there is only one thing wrong with it ... the prices. I am not surprised that people say that Norway is expensive, when you consider that a coke in the billiard hall cost me almost £2.95 or 350 Krona and that's expensive if you ask me.

So not a place you could retire to for a modest living, but if your a high flying yuppie with enough money and sense not to want to live in London all your life then this is a place I would strongly recommend.

I found some mini locks, and as I keep losing keys I prefer the 3 tumbler jobbies, even if this is possible to crack with enough time and patience. I have always said that you can't really beat a determined thief no matter what you do ( armed guards and dogs included ) but you can put off the opportunist who is trying their luck.

I am slightly saddened that I can't seem to switch off my own spider sense, or Dickon sense. The worst part of my billiard game is that I cannot ignore what is going around me and focus on just my next shot. It is the small price I pay for being forever paranoid, but then after 30 years I'm better off generally with it than without it!!

I also found a McDonald's and its the best I've tasted so far - an easy 8/10. They served me in English, had plenty of choice on the menu and everything that I ordered was piping hot and not luke warm like I amaccustomedd to from years of living in the UK.

They lose the two points as 1) they did not have Ronald McDonald or the Hamburglar wearing any kind of Viking clothes or get up - a bigdisappointmentt as I still remember with fond memory of the McArabian in Cairo - and 2) the sauce on the Chicken Premier meal was so overpowering that it left the actual chicken itself with almost no taste.

I have not been to America yet, home of the McDonald's, but so far from around the rest of the world its a clear winner so far - and almost 100% improvement of the wishy washy burger I bought in neighbouring Sweden's Gotenborg.